I’m now just shy of two weeks out uniform and I’m still sort of floating in a sea of uncertainty and confusion.
So much to do and so little time to do it because we are moments away from Christmas. I used to so love Christmas when things were “normal” but this year I’ve not even managed to shop for my girls yet.
No one tells you just how difficult it is to get out, all the red tape, appointments, people to call and
pension information to try to figure out. I understand why people stay even when it no longer brings them joy; it’s because it is comfortable and it’s known… We stay in uncomfortable situations because it’s often the only thing we know and it gives the illusion of normalcy.
I have been so wrapped up in the release process, finding work, attending the mountains of appointments and trying to find my way again that I’ve cause myself more strain in many ways… I am a procrastinator by nature and have always joked that I work better under pressure only now I’m seeing that’s a pattern that I’ve chosen to hang on to so that I can keep the sense of urgency under the surface at all times.
The best part about a pattern of behaviour though is once it’s acknowledged it’s pretty hard to pretend it’s not there anymore!
Let’s add more icing to the cake shall we, we just happen to be days away from winter solstice annnnnd the last full moon of the year! What a time to notice a pattern!! This month is a month of saying goodbye to everything that’s no longer aligned with our soul. Jobs that no longer align are leaving, relationships that are not for our highest good are ending, emotions and patterns we’ve not yet acknowledged are coming to the surface so they too can be left behind. We are literally shedding our skin and walking into 2019 fresh. Mixed in with the endings, in the typical universal way of balance, are all the incredible blessings and beginnings!
We must always look at the blessings and feel into the gratitude that these give. 2018 was a year of shedding the standards others have set for us, the expectations we’ve placed on ourselves to live up to society’s standards and of coming back to ourselves. Some call it finding ourselves and in a sense it is because we’ve forgotten who we are while we tried to keep up to the demands we’ve placed on ourselves. We’re not lost though, we’re right here and we’re remembering what it means to be true to ourselves and we’re remembering who we ALREADY are. The only thing we forgot was that we ARE perfect and are exactly where we’re meant to be right now.
If that means you’re crying or frustrated or feeling alone then that’s what you must allow to flow. Let those tears fall, they are clearing the way for your future, get pissed because sometimes shitty things happen and it’s okay to be mad about it and then feel the emotion fall away… We’re ascending right to to a higher vibration then we’ve ever experienced on Earth, it’s uncomfortable and it’s getting rid of everything that needs to go so you can be your purest, truest version of you. The YOU, you were before you started listening to everyone else’s advice instead of the voice inside your heart.
That’s your higher self, that’s Divine Source energy that flows and guides, listen to that voice because it’s the song of your soul pushing you to your full potential!